Dr. Tall Freshmouth, my dentist friend, wrote in recently asking if it’s okay for a man to live in Joyceland and uphold Joyce’s ideals. I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Hell, yes.” In fact, although Dr. Freshmouth suggested creating a Jackland, I prefer to call the male members of our community ManJoyces or JoyceMen. And I love the testosterone they bring to the party. Here’s an example of a ManJoyce in his formative years . . .
. . . sneaking in a spontaneous smooch. The girl on the right will dream about escaping to Joyceland forever, but it will never be a reality for her. How unfortunate. Note the smile on JoyceMan Jr.’s face and his missing t-shirt. A good ManJoyce lives for moments like these. And he also buys tickets to everything, just like Dr. FreshMouth. Dr. Fresh loves to plan fun events and buy blocks of tickets to everything so that others can get in on the fun, too. Here is the good doctor’s tip of the day: buy yourself a couple of tickets right now–to anything. You’ll be glad you did. And keep flossing and gargling. A fresh mouth is key to your popularity.
JackieJoyce recently clued me in to www.squeezeitin.com. Their motto? Let life be your workout . . .
Nice and easy, huh? Their DVD’s teach you simple moves like Hot Squats, Pottie Hottie, Let’s Dish Lunges, Va-va-va Vacuum, and Laundry Legs. Kinda reminds you of Olivia’s super secret workout when she runs around her basement touching all the walls, huh? At the office, with SqueezeItIn, you can easily stay in shape with Work the Plank and I’m Not Getting Squats Done. While shopping you can Grab a Gallon and do Grocery Glutes. (And pretty soon all the baggers will be following YOU around the store.) When watching TV, please enjoy the TV Twofer and the TV Twist. On an airplane, how about the Turbulence Tap? SqueezeItIn is for every busy male and female Joycelander. Busy is the operative word here. Party attendance is our priority and exercise only works if it can be squeezed in when you’re doing something else.
Now, here is the fun part. SqueezeItIn offers an ongoing online video contest. All you do is perform YOUR VERSION of a SqueezeItIn style exercise, upload it to YouTube, and send the link to firstname.lastname@example.org. Winning entries will receive gear. Do we like gear? Well, that depends on the gear. But I can’t wait to see how many Joycelanders enter the contest. I’m declaring right now that we’re going to have a winner.
Finally, my French friend, MarieMarie researched Gilad after last week’s Person of Intrigue post. Remember how our Person of Intrigue, Linda, loves to workout to Gilad because he says, “You look gooooooooood!” Well, MarieMarie found out that Gilad exercises with a bored parakeet named Peaches . . .
I kind of wish I didn’t know that about Gilad. I like the idea of him telling me I look gooooooooooood, but I’m not big on the bored parakeet named Peaches. I guess everyone’s gotta have a gimmick. What’s yours?