Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | August 19, 2009

Camp for Your Man

Last week Bulldog attended his final camp of the summer.  The activity that ‘sold’ out most quickly of all the choices was called Man Camp.  Pause for a moment and consider that scary thought!!  Man Camp is for second through sixth grade boys who want to learn how to live like real men.  After learning all about the Man Camp curriculum, we decided that it’s a program for all boys or men ages 7-99

We believe in the proper training of the adult male so that all Joyceland members can enjoy the benefits of the Joyce lifestyle on a daily basis.  Man Camp for the Adult Man is offered Monday through Friday after work from 6-10:30 p.m.  This schedule allows you complete freedom every evening to enjoy your Joyceland girlfriends or plenty of moi time.  Here is what your guy will learn should you decide to enroll him in Man Camp:

Monday:  in order to practice extreme manliness he’ll smash old lamps, televisions, and chairs.  This will allow him to work out any and all anxieties which arise from having too much testosterone.

Tuesday:  in this session he’ll learn how to cook ramen noodles and jello.  He’ll also be introduced to the fine art of laundry:  what to do with all the clothes in the basket when he notices it’s full.

Wednesday:  your guy will get to dress up in camouflage clothes for Army Day.  He’ll march, chant, grunt, cheer, and engage in urban warfare using swimming pool noodles.  He’ll even get to pick out his favorite color noodle to take home.

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Thursday:  he’ll learn the fine art of etiquette.  He’ll receive tips on opening doors and pulling out chairs for the ladies. And he’ll be taught to sew on a button and pick out fine chocolates.  A lot is covered in this session and he may come home with a headache.

Friday:  will be spent in Nerf Gun Dart games.  The games will be played all day long.  He will enjoy the opportunity to dodge darts, hide, scratch his crotch, and chase around.  He’ll get to demonstrate his best belch and fart, plus he’ll be taught the appropriate times for such behavior.

We think Man Camp could provide you with the perfect finish to your summer, especially if your man is driving you crazy.  Space is limited, so enroll him now!  And let us know if there are other topics you’d like to see Man Camp cover by clicking ‘leave a response’ above . . .

Semi-Entertaining with Joyce

Joyce plans to semi-entertain soon.  She is considering a departure from sauteed asparagus because she’s become fascinated by an idea in Woman’s Day called ‘salad on a stick’.  Here are the directions:  skewer a small wedge of iceberg lettuce, a cherry tomato, a chunk of carrot, cucumber, green pepper, and cheese.  Top with bacon bits and drizzle with your favorite dressing.  So totally clever, so pretty, so State Fair-like, yet soooo easy.

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Overheard Today While Eavesdropping   

“I WILL COOK DINNER TO-NIGHT!!  I will.  I really will.  Really.  I have to make something . . .”  And this woman wasn’t talking to anybody but herself . . . . . . we need to get her to a Joyceland party fast!  Who’s available to take her out?

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