Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | August 26, 2009

The University of Joyce

With all the college kids heading back to school this week, we were sitting on the potty today thinking, “We wanna be in college again!  Boo-hoo-hoo!”  (Some of our most important thinking seems to happen while we’re sitting on the toilette–yes, the twa-let.  Not while we’re cleaning it, but while we’re just sitting . . . there.)

So go sit on your toilette and think about it for a minute.  In college your friends were available 24/7, the dorm room was so small you didn’t have to clean it all year long, you knew and liked people who never changed their sheets, you carried your life in your backpack, there were unlimited dating possibilities and choices, and people always called you by your nickname.  All of it was totally Joyce.  Check out our room in Cole Hall back in the day:

Cole Hall

Just look at us!  Boy, were we happy!  Cramped, but H-A-P-P-Y!  We even had a damn bird who matched our decor:

krollie bird


Here is what some recent college grads say they loved about college:

  • non-stop laughing
  • having friends around all the time
  • free time and fun
  • doing crazy things
  • pure and total spontaneity (all of the above get four out of four stars)

Joyce loves laughing, having friends around all the time, free time and fun, doing crazy things, and spontaneity.  Are you getting the picture?  We thought so.

Here’s what recent college grads say about their lives now:

  • I hate spending money on adult things
  • Boo to being grown up
  • My life is too ordinary now

So, at the University of Joyce we stand by the following which bring us a little of the old college magic:

  • own a body powder with some sparkle in it; it’s good to sparkle now and then
  • swear several times a week; swearing is good for the body, mind, and soul
  • get to know people who own a lake home; lake home people live the college life until they die–try to get invited over as often as possible
  • decide on a nickname and demand that people use it
  • try not to have more than six children because more than six will seriously limit your ‘me’ time possibilities
  • don’t ever buy an iron
  • consider ‘take out’ to be your specialty–it’s the next best thing to dorm food
  • avoid getting wee-wee’d up (which means sweating the small stuff–and in the adult world, it seems, there is a lot to get wee-wee’d up about)

What else would you like to see at Joyce U?  What do you miss about college?

P.S.  And Teddy—we’ll miss you, too!  We’re hardly over Eunice and now you?  Despite your sometimes tragic and controversial past, you were one of the brothers we loved so well.  (And you sort of acted like you were in college well after you graduated!  You had some Joyce in you, old boy!)  As you matured you made such a positive difference for many in this life.  And you were a good dad to all the kids your brothers left behind.  As V.S. said:  No one could do a eulogy like Teddy.  (V.S. — you are brilliant!)



  1. I loved living in a dorm and did so for 3 of my 4 years! I got around the “nerd” factor by being a Resident Assistant. I don’t understand why kids are so anxious to leave dorm life and move into a grungy house or expensive apartment. I wish I could live in a dorm now! (Only I would like a single room.)

  2. I have a recurring nightmare that I’m back in college and have to take a final exam in a class I didn’t attend for the entire semester. I wake up in a panic. Don’t make me go back.

    • I have the same recurring dream. What do you think that says about us . . . something to do with unfinished business in school. I say we do go back and figure it out!

  3. I have the same college dream as above – it’s 5 weeks before finals and I haven’t attended one of my classes and it’s too late to drop it. I could “cram” to study for the finals and get in just under the wire, but it will be v. stressful. College was stressful!

    I prefered my early and mid-20s to college, actually. Great job, great clothes, lots of dining out, small apartment (less clutter, less cleaning), cute men at work, no responsibility on weekends (unless I had to go in to work for fininsh a project, which I was able to do with complete and unhindered focus) and no need for tummy tuck/eye job. LOVED IT!

  4. Oh Joyce, I’m with you – I loved college and would go back and do it all over again if given the opportunity. When I look back, I am amazed by our ability to go barhopping over and over (sometimes Tuesday through Saturday) and still be able to function during the day. I am most proud of my ability to stay out until 3am on Thursday night and then get up to work at 6am on Friday- at the food service of all places. I was the card check girl, so it wasn’t too bad.

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