Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | September 3, 2009

Diane, Katie, and a long ride home

So ABC anchor Charlie Gibson has announced that he’ll retire at the end of the year and Diane Sawyer will take his place.  This means that there will be female anchors on two of the three evening network newscasts (ENN).  We re-JOYCE at this news and are glad to see white men with gray hair stepping down.  Along with newspapers, letters, and landlines, the nightly news isn’t as popular now as it was back in the day.  Joyce still enjoys the ENN very much.  She likes the dramatic music at the beginning when the anchor’s name is announced and she finds that the female anchor becomes like a sister, who happens to have extra white teeth.  Joyce also feels very cosmopolitan watching anything that’s broadcast live from the Big Apple.  Joyce tries to pal around with a local anchor now and then because it adds a live, local, and latebreaking factor to her life which she can’t seem to find anywhere else.  Does Diane Sawyer have more curb appeal than Katie Couric? 

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Katie is faithful about the annual colonoscopy–so she scores a point there.  Diane was America’s Junior Miss 1963 which means she has a crown and her husband is a film director

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It could be a tight ratings race.  Do either of them embrace the ideals of Joyce?  Stay tuned as this story develops.     

Joyce of the Moment

Joyceland friend Nambo was seen shouting to anyone who would listen, “The kids are at school.  The sun is out.  Life is good for today.”  (Nambo–we like your ‘one day at a time’ attitude.  You are practicing the power of now.  School in session + sunshine = it doesn’t get any better!) 

Big Yellow

Although we’re thrilled to see Big Yellow up and running around town again, we were very disappointed to learn that we couldn’t put Bulldog on the bus for the first three days of school due to overcrowding.  Our house lands just outside the boundary for getting the bus.  You could stand on our front porch to spit and it would land in the boundary, but our lot line is out of the boundary.  The bus company is very rigid about boundaries.  We’ve discussed the situation with both Amber and Wanda, loyal bus company employees and our new BFFs, and there is no fudging on the boundary lines.  Here is what we’ve offered in order to get the bus to stop at our house:

  1. we’re willing to casually date Bobby the bus driver    
  2. we’ve offered that Spike will do Amber’s laundry
  3. we’ve invited Wanda to join Book Club.

Nothing has worked.  So instead, at the end of the school day, Bulldog gets dropped at the stop closest to our house.  We live two miles from school and Bulldog rides the bus for 56 minutes.  Why don’t we just drive over to school to pick him up? 

  1. Bulldog is a boy.  Boys live to and love to ride Big Yellow. 
  2. Bulldog is insatiably sociable.  The extra long bus ride gives Bulldog time to network.   
  3. In true Joyce fashion, Bulldog is in no hurry.  He is being properly trained to become a Man Joyce so that he can enjoy all the benefits of the Joyce lifestyle. 

Sometimes we feel guilty as we lay on the coach reading Vanity Fair while imagining Bulldog riding here, there, and everywhere during his hour long ride home.  But then we ask, “What would Joyce do?”  And we push those guilty feelings right out of our minds and concentrate, instead, on the comfort of our couch and the latest issue of Vanity Fair.



  1. I have now taken to saving my Joyceland read for the end of the day. It’s my little treat to myself! I enjoy your blog so much. Today’s post really had me laughing out loud several times. Keep up the good work!

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