Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | September 15, 2009

Hot lunch virgin helps a pedestrian

Joyce Saves a Life

We’re on a streak of gorgeous weather in Southeastern Wisconsin and we need to soak it all up before the crap weather hits again.  Since it was an A+ weather day, we decided to take a little walk.  On our way back an elderly lady was headed for her mailbox with a handwritten letter.  The letter made us like her immediately!  We asked if we could have the letter but she said no–it was meant for her cousin.  Anyway, as she approached the curb she began to teeter and totter and then suddenly took a header.  Blam!  Smash!  She had skidded over the curb and landed face first rolling down Cherry Hill.  Bad things like that don’t usually happen on a street named Cherry Hill which is why their property values are high.

We rushed back to help her after hearing the blam! and smash!  She was bleeding from her nose and mouth and her shoelaces were untied.  We kindly offered to lace her up but she refused and added, “My husband can’t know about this–he is always telling me to tie my shoelaces or I’ll fall down.”  We told her this is why Joyce prefers Crocs.  We walked her to the door and offered to get a towel and some ice from inside, but she wouldn’t let us in.  She said if her husband finds out about this it will be big trouble.  Isn’t it interesting–the secrets we keep from the old man?  We assured her we’d keep her dirty little secret, but asked her to consider buying a cute pair of Crocs–slip on, slip off, no nasty laces, no bloody faces, happy hubby. 

Lifesaving is hard work.  When we got home we took a little nap so we could be fresh for hot lunch duty. 

Hot Lunch Virgin 

At 11:30 a.m. pronto we had to report for our very first time as hot lunch server.  We informed the regulars that this was our virgin voyage and our greeting was well received even though we were serving at the Catholic school.  We got our hair net on without too much trouble.  They let you select one that matches your hair color which is a nice feature.  Then you put your name on an envelope so that you can store the hair net until next time.  We put on our plastic apron and gloves.  Hello Mother Goose!! 

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Our job was to serve pears and rolls.  The little naughties were very polite and used their best manners.  As time passed we have to admit that the salisbury steak was beginning to look good . . .

Some of the little naughties didn’t want any pears or a roll.  We told them they were like skin and bones and needed to eat.  They giggled naughty little giggles.  We served up extra pears to the naughties who looked especially hungry.  We ate two chicken rings that had fallen on the floor and found them to be delicious.  Joyce has no problem doing things like that.  And just like his grandfathers, Bulldog is very fond of salisbury steak.  What does it mean if you feel you’ve found your calling serving up pears and rolls?  Just wondering.



  1. At least the elderly lady you rescued didn’t comment on how large your teeth were!!

    Or tell you that “a son is a son til he takes a wife, a daughter’s a daughter the rest of her life”!!!

    Were you able to wear your Bumpits under your hairnet???

  2. Let’s do a post on crazy things people say and the quick witted Joyce-comebacks we can start using!

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