Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | September 16, 2009

You won’t recognize us!

When is the last time you lay upon your bed late at night flipping through channels for a few minutes before dozing off?  342 channels and not a thing on.  Wait a minute . . . is that Jen on HSN?  Yup, it’s our galpal, Jennifer Flavin-Stallone, selling Serious Skin Care.  Serious.  Skin.  Care.  It’s serious!  Our fingers didn’t even realize we were dialing the phone and suddenly we were making a midnight madness purchase!  Spike was snoring so loud we had to crawl to the next room to place the order. 

We can’t put our finger on it—but we like ‘er–that Jen Stallone.  She’s so nice to us.  And pretty.  What smooth skin.  What a lovely canary colored diamond on her hand.  She’s friendly.  She looks us right in the eye.  And wants our skin to be perfect.  She’s dedicated her life to skin care. 

And the callers!!  Oh, the callers–these products have changed their lives!  They are 50 and people ask them if they’re 30!  They would die without SSC products!  Their husbands steal product from them to use on their own man faces.  Who in Joyceland can resist all the promises? 

They always sell you a kit.  The word kit makes you feel like it is all there–everything you would ever want or need–it’s in the kit.  Joyce loves the convenience of the kit.  Jen told us this was the best kit ever at the lowest price possible!  That’s why we love her.  Here is what our kit included: 

  • Super Eye Creamerum
  • A-Force XR Time-Released Nanoencapsulated Retinol Serum
  • FirmA-Face XR All-Over Skin Tightener
  • C-Cream SPF 30 with C-Esters
  • InstaGleam Illuminating Facial Serum
  • Seramins Multi-Vitamin Facial Serum with + 4 Million S-ORAC

We don’t know what the hell any of it means, but boy, are we gonna be somethin!  We are going to be hydrated, radiant, firmed, tightened, shimmering, glistening, youthful, luminous, gorgeous, vibrant, and healthy all for $49.95 plus shipping!  Jen said so.

Bumpits or Scary Tumor?

The Walking Club met for their weekly ‘bitch and walk’ session and Sheila showed up sporting a Bumpits . . .

View Image

It was amazing how her hair pOOf put a real pOOf into her step, too.  More people said hello to her with the Bumpits in place than without.  Our only feedback was that she shouldn’t put it exactly on top of her head because it had the appearance of a large scary tumor.  She’s going to work on her Bumpits placement for next time because she now knows how Bumpits can increase her Joyce-ularity!  



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