Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | October 1, 2009

Mammos, bacon, turkeys, and naughty kids

Joyce is all verklempt because she has to have the naughty mammo today.  The whole experience just gets her riled to no end.  What about the manogram she wonders?  Just when will men have to put their pee-pee between two thin pieces of glass for picture taking purposes?

Let’s move on to happier subjects . . . we totally admire a spunky mom of five, Polly, who travels 24/7 with a naughty chair in her trunk.  First of all, we admire her because she has enough children to make up a basketball TEAM.  Secondly, we admire the naughty chair part.  Here’s how the program works:  whenever one of her kids does something naughty while the family is out and about, she pulls over and makes them sit in the naughty seat.  So if you’re running errands and you see a car on the side of the road with a little kid sitting in a naughty seat behind the trunk, honk twice and yell ‘Joyce loves you.’  It’ll make Polly’s day.

Do you have naughty turkeys running around your backyard?  Joyceland friend Molly swears she’s got dozens of wild turkeys running around.  WE BELIEVE YOU, Molly.  (Between you, us, and the wall . . . not sure about this one, but okay, Molly says she sees dozens of WILD turkeys.)  Anyway, Molly came home the other day, looked out her back window and saw one of the turkeys climb on top of her patio set, drop a large turd on the table, and then strut away.  Wild and naughty.  We’re liking this turkey stuff more and more.    

We have a naughty new group for you to join.  It’s called the Bacon of the Month Club ( and its slogan is ‘a lifestyle for your tongue.’  We’ve just come off of thirty days of BLT’s (8.27 post) and we thought that if we joined the Bacon of the Month Club, we could do 365 days of BLT dinners and then maybe write a book about the experience.  This seems to be the popular thing to do today (i.e. Julie and Julia).  When you join the Club you get:  informative notes on the monthly bacon selection, a membership card, a ballpoint pig pen, a rubber toy pig, a bacon tee-shirt, and the recipe of the month using that month’s bacon selection.  We like the idea of experiencing a ‘lifestyle for our tongue.’  Spike is interested in trying it out and Bulldog said he wouldn’t complain as long as we give him the tee-shirt and the toy pig.  Would a year of BLT’s be too naughty?

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“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.”  –Julia Child



  1. I am so very BLT right now! BUT, I’ve got cucumber cravings also, which has led me to invent a new ‘sammie’ for the week…a BCT on a sesame bagel. WOW! Talk about a fresh tasting treat! I’ll probably go back to BLTs on lightly toasted rye, or italian bread, because that’s really the comfort food I seek. I’m feeling a bit healthier with the cucumber on there…maybe a little sassy, even! Thanks for the fun! ~Yours in the name of Joyce

  2. Haha! I love the naughty chair. That has got to be the best idea ever!

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

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