Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | October 8, 2009

A Royal Day

Oh, we’re feeling so ROYALE!  And, hey, we’re holding on to the feeling because it doesn’t come ’round very often.  Our friend JujeyJoyce had the royal connections to get us invited to an intimate tea yesterday with Princess Diana’s butler, Paul Burrell, in Madtown, Wisconsin . . .


Mr. Burrell was visiting Madison in support of a not-for-profit called Porchlight Inc. which exists to help people overcome homelessness:

Here are the royal scoops Mr. Burrell shared:

  • The Queen’s bed is larger than a king or California king.  (That’s a lot of bed for one little lady.)
  • The Queen’s bed sheets are pressed with three long creases (one in the center and two on the sides) and her royal underpants are ironed, as well.  (Pressed panties are very fancy, but too labor intensive for Joyce.)
  • The royal baker bakes five different kinds of scones each day and people don’t eat them–they are for the Queen’s nine Corgi’s.  (Wouldn’t your pooch enjoy that?)
  • When at Balmoral Castle the Corgi’s can poop all over the grounds and no one has to pick any of it up.  (Kind of a nice poopy perk!)
  • Prince Charles requests that his private butler put toothpaste on his toothbrush.  (This makes us like Charles even less.)
  • Prince Charles is not very nice and is very demanding about silly things.  (And he’s not very cute either.)

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  • The Queen is very kind and nice.  (We were a little surprised by this.)
  • Mr. Burrell saw Diana and Mother Theresa pray together.  (We gave this four out of four stars.)
  • Ronald Reagan is very kind and nice and he gave Mr. Burrell his belt buckle as a gift which said:  The buckaroo stops here!  (Ronnie–how thoughtful!)
  • When you drink tea, pour the milk in last–if you pour the milk in first you are considered a MIF (milk in first) and that makes you a commoner; commoners are MIF’s; it’s better to act royal.  (Joyce takes to heart all royal tips she receives.)
  • Mr. Burrell sells his own rug line (available at Sergenian’s in Madison) and he will be appearing on the FOX network with a royal reality show and as a royal correspondent.
  • Mr. Burrell sat with Diana’s body the entire night before her funeral.  He spoke to her throughout the night about all the wonderful things she’d done and he prayed for her.  (This brought a tear to our eye.)
  • Harry is much more like Diana than Wills.  (Harry is very fun loving and Joyce; Wills is more like Charles.)
  • At Diana’s funeral when Harry and Wills were crying, Hillary Clinton came over to comfort and offer them kleenex. (There were no cameras rolling and Mr. Burrell thought this was a lovely and sincere gesture.)
  • Mr. Burrell likes his British accent and says Americans love the British accent.  (Some days Joyce wishes she had a British accent.)
  • Mr. Burrell thinks one must always look ahead in life–not back.  (Did he read Joyce’s answers to the Proust Questionnaire in yesterday’s post?  Paul and Joyce think alike!)

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  1. When my parents got married, my dad thought my mom would iron his undies just like they did for him in the Army. She told him to go to h***. I wonder if the Queen ever shared that super-sized bed with anyone…how did the Paul even get in there? He didn’t work for her, did he? or did he…

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