Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | October 15, 2009

OHHHH, we missed ya, beauty

Oh, that sunshine and warm weather did our hearts good!  We flew through gray skies and rain to leave town and returned to gray skies and light drizzle.  What gives with the gray skies??  We wonder what it would be like to live in the land of sunny skies.  We’re very jealous about that. 

One of our flight attendants was quite the stand up comic.  He was an example of somebody taking their job and making it their own.  Every time he made an announcement he would lower his voice several octaves halfway through his message.  It was hysterical.  He’d start out speaking normally and then his voice would drop very low, very deep, and very Lou Rawls.  Plus he said funny stuff about men securing their man purses safely under their seats.  He had everybody LAUGHING A LOT.  When is the last time your flight attendant had you laughing?  When is the last time you even listened to your flight attendant?  He helped us escape to Joyceland and we loved him for it.

We chatted it up with some soldiers in the Atlanta airport.  They said that they didn’t like Obama more than Bush or Bush more than Obama.  They said there hasn’t really been any change at all that they could see between the two administrations.  Hmmmm.  They said they get served steak and lobster once a week.  And celebrities come and visit to sign autographs.  Mostly country singers. 

Once we’d made it to the land of the bright and shining sun we had some little adventures.  When out and about, Joyce always likes to practice the Marty Feldman.  You know how Marty Feldman’s eyes don’t ever travel in the same direction?  Joyce is a firm believer that in order to see interesting things, one eye must look in one place–like in a book, for example, and the other eye gets to look around and do the Nancy Drew spy thing.  It’s not polite to stare, but it’s okay to do the Marty Feldman. 

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People watching makes life a total adventure.  Sometimes you just can’t believe what you see.  We spotted a lady pushing her two pooches in a double cheetah stroller.  The pooches were very cozy and comfortable and covered in their blankies.  Their mama, who wore stilleto heels, was feeding and tending to them like sweet little babies.  Hmmm.

When out shopping we were minding our own business sneaking little cookies from the tray that the store had set out.  Cookies and shopping have gotten us into trouble in the past and this time it was no different.  An older gentleman waiting for his wife was seated near the cookies and he shouted out, “Where are you from?”  Instead of saying ‘Milwaukee’ we answered, “Manhattan.”  (People love meeting people from New York City.)  The man replied that he was from the south of France.  (Oh yeah, big fancy deal, we thought.)  But then he quickly disclosed, “The Germans killed all my siblings.  I had six brothers and sisters and the Germans killed them all.  I’m the only one left.  The only one.  They killed them all.  Are you Jewish, too?”  We didn’t have the heart to tell him we’re ALL GERMAN–so we grabbed a few more cookies and said that we enjoyed meeting him and were very sorry for his loss, but were under shopping time contraints and had to get going.  Hmm and  Hmmmmmm.  Damn Germans!

We were surrounded by many people who’d had plastic surgery on their faces and chests.  Our Marty Feldman eyes were very busy studying every inch of them.  After a few days of study, many of their faces began to look feline-esque:  the tiny little upturned nose, the swelled lips, the eyes upturned at the sides.  All we were waiting for was a little meowing and purring.  We thought we saw one woman rubbing her cat head on her friend’s leg, but we can’t say for certain it really happened.

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The pool area was surrounded by young lovers who were constantly grabbing, kissing, nuzzling, and petting one another.  HMMM.  It got a little tiring being exposed to all the young and enthusiastic love that surrounded us.  We asked Spike for a short, yet passionate embrace on the beach in order to beat them at their own game.

When you stay in a hotel do you ever secretly feel that you wished you lived at a hotel?  What more do you need?  A bed, a tv, a nice view, a toilette?  Friendly people greeting you at the door when you come and go?  A small frig stashed with life’s little enjoyments?

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