Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | October 23, 2009

Shame on you Bon Jovi

It’s been a week of all things decidedly below the belt.  How did we digress so quickly?  It started out innocently enough with a little sparkle down under.  Just a happy, funny little story to help pass the time . . . and then we were reminded of a job from hell selling Sheer Delight . . . which obviously caused our hatred for pantyhose . . . and then all of a sudden . . . we landed on the beaver.  Funny how that happens.  Joycerinos from all over the world began flooding us with beaver tales–from the bald to the beautiful to the overly bushy.  And Jukey, one of Joyceland’s founding mothers, reminded us that Joyce has indeed referred to the vanishing beaver as The Bald Eagle.  Yes, just recently–as they met LIVE AND IN PERSON–Joyce and Jukey discussed the balding trends of the eagle.  Please review your notes, dear Joycies, because we’ll be having a vocabulary test next week.

And that damn Jon Bon Jovi.  Just who does he think he is?  We told him over and over again, “No Bumpits for the beaver.”  Leave it alone, Jon.  So what does he do in response? 

Go to fullsize image

Awwwww.  Like that will change our minds! 

On October 24th in 1939 women’s hosiery went on sale for the first time.  Sixty years later and we are still cursing that damn Wallace Hume Carothers, the man responsible for the discovery of nylon.  Every time Joyce has wrestled on a pair of nylons, you can hear her cussing under her breath, “That Carothers was a tithead.”  Despite the fact that Mr. Carothers was very successful with nylon, he never felt that he’d accomplished much and he died after drinking a cocktail of lemon juice laced with potassium cyanide.  This just goes to prove Joyce’s point:  ambition, achievement, and goals will only bring you trouble in life.  On the other hand, lollygagging and enjoyments will keep a smile on your face until your last breath. 

If you decide to have a Beaver Party this weekend, here is a recipe for The Gray Beaver Martini (courtesy of The Gray Beaver Club):
1 part pure pomegranate juice/2 parts Fresca/vodka, to taste/lemon, cherry or sliced grapefruit for garnish.

Bottoms up!  And we mean that in the best possible way.

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