Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | November 12, 2009

oh so cozy

Has everyone and their mothers been super busy trying to catch mice around their yards and homes?  Our heads are spinning from all the mouse stories.  BobbyJoyce set a trap to catch one of the dirty little suckers.  He put LOTS of Jif on the end of the trap to lure in the son of a bitch.  When BobbyJoyce returned to the trap the next day, Mouseketeer was dead as a doorknob and ALL the peanut butter was gone.  Nancy Drew, what does this mean?  It means that while Mouseketeer lay dead, his BFF or his Mrs. stopped by and ATE all the peanut butter . . . over his dead body.  That’s what that means.  The moral of this story is don’t trust a mouse–ever.  Even if they seem to care about you.       

EmJoyce is all ga-ga-ga over the DKNY cozy:

12 Ways To Wear A DKNY Cozy

(BTW–when’s the last time #2 above enjoyed a burger?)  EmJoyce loves the cozy because you can wear it 12 different ways.  She finds the variety to be very Joyce:  one top, twelve styles.  Apparently the twelve ways look good on many shapes and sizes, too.  EmJoyce found hers at TJ Maxx for $49.99–about $130 less than the regular price.  That comes to a little over $4 for each way that the cozy can be worn.  Such a Joycebargain!  We tried one on today at TJ.  We thought it was attractive, but maybe a little too cozy.  Here’s the math:  one cozy + a hot flash or three = super cozy.  Do they make short sleeve cozies?  There’s a video ( to show you how to do the 12 different ways.  We had to watch it 43 times.  Dumb and dumber try to look DK chic.  Stay tuned. 

Speaking of math, SallyJoyce asks this fashionista question:  If 60 is the new 40, then will I soon be 35 and can I wear my black leather pants again?  We like her numbers and ideas.

And to all those ladies who traded in their journey necklaces at Pawnee Man’s shop, Jukey finds it hard to believe that any Joyce worth her sparkle would say no to any bling.  Maybe if those ‘traders’ had put more Joyce in their journey they might have kept the necklace as a good luck charm.

In the TJ Maxx parking lot we saw that someone had written on their left side mirror:  I love you, you’re great!  We liked the idea that every time they look into their left mirror while speeding down the road, they get a quick little pick-me-up.

We noticed that not many pairs of Bulldog’s underpants were coming through the laundry.  Maybe one or two pair per week, at best.  We had to review the basics with him again:  older age = parts begin to stink.  Must . . . change . . . underpants . . . even  . . . though . . . we . . . don’t . . . think . . . about . . . stink . . . or  . . . even . . . though . . . we may prefer stink.  We think he understands now. 

This brings us to another delicate topic.  Do you wear your panties to bed?  We do not believe in underpants and bed.  We believe that parts need to AIR OUT at night.  We think this is very important to your overall health and well-being.  Parts need air.  Parts need to breathe.  Joyce does not like to be bound, confined, or pinched.  Think about it and consider our suggestions.  Your privates will thank us.


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