Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | November 14, 2009

let’s be broad minded

To all the DKNY cozy fashionistas:  our cozy has been reluctantly returned to Mr. TJ Maxx.  We watched the instructional video on how to wear ‘le cozy’ an additional 14 times for a grand total of  57 viewings over a 24 hour period.  Each twist, turn, and tie of said cozy had us looking like Brutus from a ‘Dress like Julius Caesar’ costume party gone bad:

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Et tu, Joycee??  EmJoyce–please give us your tips!  We’re trying our best to stay hip and trendy.  We are Joyce, after all.  (P.S.  Donna Karan says every woman’s best feature is her shoulders.  It’s kind of true, isn’t it?  Take a look at yours in the mirror right now . . . pretty nice, huh?  Shoulders.  Play ’em up to the hilt.) 

And regarding the two Joyce’s joining a choir:  Olivia is having a love fest with Jukey who happily recalled Joyce 1’s magnificent ability to sing in dulcet tones . . . so melodious . . . and sweet to the ear.  Joyce 1 is a soprano, of course.  When the notes get really high, however, she just keeps her mouth shut.  It seems the choral director is ending his marriage which has created a little bit of back stage gossip.  However, both Joyces find that he has a marvelous sense of humor and they forgive him for any possible indiscretions.  He’d like the choir to sing more and talk less, so everyone is trying their best to comply.

Bulldog has been remembering to wear a fresh pair of underpants each day since we asked his teacher to review cleanliness basics on his weekly spelling list.  Here are his words for this week:  change, underpants, every, day, so, you, don’t, stink, girls, dislike, smelly, boys.

With the purchase of our new car (the one that’s already been hit, remember?) we received three months of free XM radio.  We’ve been enjoying listening to a Joycelicious show called Broadminded.  These are the broads: 

Are broads that cute?  Just wondering.  They are outrageous and irreverent which is right up Joyce’s alley.  Joyce loves a little dirty talk now and then and now.  The other day the broads talked about not having time to shower and being big fans of ‘baby wipe clean.’  They love the baby wipe shower.  No time for a real shower?  Baby wipe clean is your ticket to feeling fresh.  And they were pleased with all the different scented baby wipes you can buy.  Their slogan is ‘Two Broads/Two Hours/One Helluva Good Time.  Where can we get a gig like that?  You, too, can enjoy a free trial of XM at: .   And we checked out Huggies Naturally Refreshing Baby Wipes–in cucumber and green tea–they claim you get bath-like freshness with every wipe.  We guess the broads know what they’re talking about.


Along with living panty free at night, do you rest your toes from nail polish overload?  We do.  To repeat, we believe airing out parts is important to good emotional and physical health.  After months and months of pedicures, we think it’s a good idea to let the toes go bare naked and rest a little.  What say you?  And how is the nighttime airing out going?  Do tell.  MareJoyce reports that she is committed to panties under her jammies.  We say—air it out—let it breathe, MareJoyce, let it breathe.  A little baby wipe bath upon waking is a nice touch, too, don’tcha think?  Quick and easy, it gets you off to the next party in no time at all.  Thanks, broads. 

And here’s a little something for your spirit from AlliJoyce via The Charmed Life Lady:

Just show up.  Anything can happen today.  Something amazing will happen today.  Just show up.  xo



  1. Toots, we may be twins separated at birth….really. (Apparently, Queen-Joyce thought it was a better idea to keep the boys together…..BIG mistake!) I too free my toes from the confines of polish post summer and my private parts from panties at bedtime. (When I shared this piece of private info w/ my 15yr. old daughter, she made that,”Wow, that’s gross” face. That’s when I KNEW it was a good idea). Yet, now I am conflicted, here is my delimma: since I am not a morning person and love saving time when rushed in the morning, should I wear panties at nite w/ a baby wipe tucked into the wide cotton crotch so I can omit the morning shower occasionally? Please advise.

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