Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | January 8, 2010

the joke is on joan rivers

Well, well, well.  We certainly have many friends out there who agree that Eat, Pray, Love was really Whine, Whine, Whine.  And most of them confessed to drinking lots of wine while listening to Elizabeth Gilbert whine—it was the only way to get through that book!  Escape to Joyceland was featured on the WordPress homepage for our eat, pray, love, whine 1/6 post—and what fun that was!  Suddenly, we were a one day wonder with lots of new and fantastic friends.  Soulmates, even–judging from the comments.  It was like a big Holly Golightly party in the blogosphere . . .

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If you’re new to Joyceland, here is what we stand for:

  • Work if you must, but not too hard
  • Never stay home if you can be out enjoying a party
  • Lollygag often
  • Avoid domestic chores by lying, playing dumb, or giving away any and all appliances

Joyceland exists to give you pause in your daily routine to, just maybe, enjoy a little chuckle.  And to teach you tricks for living the life of Joyce.  We’re inspired by our fun-loving, sweet mama Joyce–who avoids taking life too seriously.  Even dear old dad, The Bobster, admits, that although they’ve been married fifty years, they’ve only actually been together for twenty-five because Joyce spends most of her time driving around looking for parties.  

From time to time we also share Jukey’s perspective because she and Joyce were more than fabulous back in the day.  Oh, and we dish on Olivia and Sheila because they provide us with lots of inspiration for living the Joyce lifestyle.  We share secrets from Stella, Lucy, Stillpoint Sherrie and, of course, others whom you’ll meet along the way when you visit.  We even love ManJoyces like Spike, Bulldog, Wylo—and welcome them with open arms.  And maybe if you visit often enough we’ll talk about you, because, let’s be honest–there’s a little bit of Joyce in all of us.  And thank God for that.  But there’s no room for whining when you live like Joyce.  We eat, pray, and love, but try not to whine. 

As long as we’ve touched on the subject of ‘poor me’ whiners, how ’bout that sassy Joan Rivers?  Seems she was trying to get on a plane after a vacation in Costa Rica and they wouldn’t let her board because the name on her passport didn’t match the name on her boarding pass.  And she’s been whining about her hard luck ever since by throwing a big old celebrity tantrum.  Does anyone feel sorry for her?  Honestly, Joan, take a time out on the naughty seat.  Haven’t we all been held up for various reasons while flying the friendly skies since 9/11?  Yes, flying today involves many inconveniences.  Olivia is the only person we know who purposefully tries to make the security beepers go off so she’ll get frisked at security checkpoints.  She enjoys all that frisking.  But most of us just make the best of bad situations at airports.  Not Ms. Rivers.  She was seen foaming at the mouth on Larry King Live while sporting a flower on her lapel which was bigger than her already too big head . . .

Joan Rivers in October

And she’s had so much plastic surgery she can hardly smile anymore.  But she can certainly lick her chops while calling people morons, idiots, and pre-menstrual.  Yes, the woman who makes her living through comedy, can’t find the humor in this situation at all.  So, in the end, the joke is on her.

Compare that situation with that of our dear brother, Wild Wylo, fruit of Joyce’s loins.  Just so you can make a mental picture, Wild Wylo’s celeb look-alike is Lorenzo Lamas:

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Nice, huh?  It seems Wylo ran into some airport trouble just like Ms. Ranting Rude Rivers.  Wylo needed to fly to Raleigh, North Carolina last year in order to attend an early afternoon meeting.  He was his usual charming self when preparing to walk down the jetway.  He learned it all from The Bobster.  Yes, Wylo engaged in fascinating conversation while flashing his pearly whites to the gate attendant before boarding the plane.  But upon landing he realized that the destination of his plane . . . was . . . Charlotte.  Shit, damn, hell.  How terribly inconvenient!  It seems the scanner wasn’t working for boarding passes that day.  Did Wylo call Larry King in a rage?  Did he call anybody a moron or idiot?  No, no, and no.  But here is what he did–he zipped over to Hertz to grab a car and drove like Cruella de Vil to make his 1:30 p.m. Raleigh appointment.  And in the end, as in most situations, it all worked out. 

And Joyce?  Well, she believes that when trouble strikes ‘this too shall pass.’  Plus, she adores driving like Cruella de Vil.  Joyce has never been one to turn down a fast ride on the highway.



  1. I read the article about Joan Rivers, and just laughed. Poor thing was stuck with ONLY $100 in her pocket… I wish I had a random $100 stuck in one of my pockets. I’m happy when I find a quarter!

  2. Oh! and Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!! =o)

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