Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | January 10, 2010

poor january with all of its expectations

So, are your resolutions for 2010 firmly in place?  We certainly hope not.  Joyce usually doesn’t get around to setting resolutions until July.  It really takes the pressure off to do it that way.  Resolutions are nice to think about, but should never be taken too seriously.  And they can make the whole year a pain in the ass if they are too anti-Joyce.  Have you heard of the New Year’s Resolution Generator?  Kinda makes the entire process fun, easy, and a little less brainy.  When you go to the site, you’ll see this:

. . . and then you can get a whole bunch of ideas for making 2010 a great year.  Here are some fun resolution ideas that tickled us:  wear sunglasses everyday, play, eat a whole tomato like an apple, smell the roses, start a pencil collection, friend someone on facebook with your same name, get jiggy with it, high five the person next to you.  So, if you’re looking for a few fresh ways to keep the mojo in January and all year long, check it out at:

http://moninavelarde.com/newyears/

A few more ideas about anti-resolutions came to us from a blog called The Power of Slow. Say it slowly now:  nnnniiiiicccce tiiitttlllle for a blooooogg!  Joyce loves anything that’s s-l-o-w.  Fast can be just a little too crazy for her.  The Power of Slow teaches us to give each year a name because it provides the year with a groovy focus.  So, you can name 2010 the Year of Fun or the Year of Everything Joyce or the Year I Laughed Hysterically Every Day.

The Power of Slow also advises us to think about our New Year’s resolutions as a chance to show the world who we truly are—so, for example, we would resolve to use our ‘party first, avoid all appliances’ mantra in a way that might inspire all of humanity.

Poor January, with all of its expectations and pressures.  We’ve just come off of 30 glorious days of hot, creamy sausage dip and now our pants are way too tight, we haven’t been invited to a party in a week, and we’re expected to resolve to change our whole lives just because last year ended.  What crap.  Joyce suggests that any conversations in January about goals and strategies be ignored by floating in water on a hot pink noodle while gazing off into the sunset.  There!  Don’t you feel much better?

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Bulldog, who wants to be known in 2010 as Mr. Schwister, received the sacrament of Reconciliation this past week.  Yay for Mr. Bulldog Schwister!  He is now pure as the driven snow.  His soon-to-be eight year old brain could only think of one thing he’s done wrong in his life so far:  one time he stuck his tongue out at us.  Such evil!  Anyway, Schwister decided his first confession would focus on revealing the naughty tongue episode to Father Eyes Like the Ocean.  About two hours before we had to leave for church, Olivia called to talk to Schwister.  She told him he had a small window of opportunity for crazy naughtiness over the next 120 minutes and that he should take full advantage of it.  She encouraged him to run upstairs and put on one of our bras so that he’d have something good to tell Father Eyes Like the Ocean.

Cold weather . . . resolutions . . . confessions . . . January!  A little Joyce makes it all good.

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