This past weekend many Facebook ladies were challenged to share their bra color with the world in the name of breast cancer awareness. All they were asked to share was the color. That’s it. Not the style or cup size or brand. No one had to admit to perky, super-sized, or sagging pears. Thank God. And nobody was asked to mention anything about breast cancer–which was the real purpose behind the entire thing.
It remains unclear as to who started this call to action among Facebook friends, but it created a real response with a huge spike in traffic for breast-cancer advocacy websites. So, was this a good thing?
Here’s our problem with it: women were apologizing for wearing beige. We’re all for supporting other women, especially related to the awful C word. But this campaign turned into a Facebook cup color competition: hot pink/lacy, camouflage, purple, sexy black. And before ladies posted on Facebook, many wondered if they should tell the truth or make up a sexy sounding color. And then there were those who apologized for plain, old neglected beige:
- “Sorry—mine is beige”
- “I’m boring–it’s beige”
- “Body matching—beige”
- “Like vanilla in the world of 31 flavors, mine is bla-bla beige”
So, what’s so bad about beige? Personally, we go bra-less whenever we can. We’re not well endowed and we’ve always hated bras. They pinch, pull, and confine our little boobies. We like the freedom of no bra at all. So beige works for us, when we feel like we have to put one on. We haven’t yet succumbed to needing the latest Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy, Perfect One, Glamour, or Secret Pink. (Who comes up with those names anyway?) We’re pretty okay with beige. And we don’t think we should have to apologize for that.
Joyce is buxom, so that’s a different story. Joyce has to hold those puppies in. She wears a mama bear sized bra. But beige has always been fine by her, too. And once in a while a safety-pin might help here and there because big boobs can be heavy and cause bra problems that can only be helped by safety pins. And it’s all okay.
Nobody should have to apologize or feel less sexy because of beige. If the word bothers you, call it cosmic latte, buff, camel, biscuit, or desert sand. Beige is neutral, calm, and relaxing. It is pure simplicity. Wearing beige as a lucky color will attract the basics and essentials to your life. And we all need the essentials, don’t we? They’re essential!
Lots of people will pick vanilla ice cream over every other flavor. You wouldn’t think it’s true, but it is. Did you know pure vanilla is the second most expensive spice? In The Book of Spices it is described as “pure, spicy, and delicate.” The Mexican Totonac people were the first to cultivate vanilla. According to Totonac mythology, the tropical vanilla orchid was born when Princess Xanat, forbidden by her papa from marrying a mortal, hid in the forest with her beloved. The lovers were found and beheaded. Such scandal! And where their blood touched the ground, the vine of the vanilla plant grew. Kinda gives beige and vanilla a different image, doesn’t it?
So, for God’s sake, stop apologizing for your beige bra. You’ve got more important things to be concerned about. Otherwise Joyce will have your head. And she means business.