Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | February 10, 2010

looking for that special gift?

I’ve decided to take the bold plunge and begin referring to myself as me and I.  Maybe you’ve noticed that since Joyceland began last August I’ve called myself ‘we’ and then, of course, I also refer to our mentor–my mom, Joyce.  For a long time I thought that ‘we’ sounded more like a community and I was more comfortable with it.  We, we, we.  It fit.  It was a little like ‘this little piggy cried, ‘wee! wee! wee! all the way home” because it just seemed too scary to say me.  Or I.  Well, you know what?  I’ve developed some courage to just be me.  So, here I am–daughter of Joyce.  And of course, there are all of you—who put the we–in Joyceland.  And I’m always charmed by what you have to say.  So phone in often.

For the past week I’ve received daily e-mails advertising wigs.  The senders must be Googling and have seen that I’ve written about wearing wigs and so they’re wondering what kind of look I’m going for and how many I might want to buy.  And these wig selling fools are contacting my Yahoo e-mail account daily.  I’m thinking of becoming a redhead.  They seem to have the most fun.

Do you need a great gift for a gal pal?  Maybe something that screams white elephant,  you’re not getting older you’re getting better, or Frankenstein’s Bride?  Perhaps a special something for Valentine’s Day?  I’ve got the perfect suggestion for you which had been used by Joyce, Jukie, and Nano back in the day:  the Linda Evans Rejuvenique.

A few months ago I was browsing at Tuesday Morning, the close-out store.  Suddenly, in a darkened back corner I happened upon the Rejuvenique and my gift giving days have never been more fulfilling or enjoyable.  The Rejuvenique has caused people invite me to parties with the hopes that they, too, can become the proud owner of one of my favorite give-aways. 

Remember that pretty doll Linda Evans?  She was like a real live Barbie . . .

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Well, to stay young and pretty she created the Rejuvenique Ultimate Facial Toning System . . .

The Rejuvenique tightens facial muscles by injecting an electric current in them.  It’s inspired by Hannibal Lecter . . .

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. . . but created by Evans and a holistic doctor named George Springer.  Not Jerry, but George.  Holistic?  Holy Phantom of the Opera!

Take a look at this fabulous fountain of youth that few own, but many dream of and want: 

Take it from me–if you begin giving away the Rejuvenique, you won’t be able to squeeze all the invites into your social calendar.  You’ll be the friend everyone wants to spend time enjoying.  Your popularity will soar.  And if you don’t believe me, take it from Linda Evans:  “The letters we’ve gotten from women actually bring tears to your eyes, it’s just the most useful thing for every woman who’s going to age.” 

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Responses

  1. Lamenting that I only bought one of those little beauties and then foolishly gave it away. I f I had two of those miracle machines think what they might do for the derriere! But, have you seen Lindas frozen puss ( no Y inthat word ) lately. I think she might have left it on a bit long.

  2. Are you still going to write about scotch tape for wrinkles? Is this better than that???? Inquiring minds want to know!


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