Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | February 12, 2010

are you feelin’ the love?

Just in time for Valentine’s Day—-are you feelin’ the love?  I’m thinking that today we need a little of this and a little of that.  Let’s celebrate our favorite heart filled holiday with your delicious Joyce-isms:

On Jukie:  Is anyone surprised that Jukie bought two Rejuveniques so that she could keep her ass firm and bootylicious?  And she gets an A+ for Rejuvenique creativity.  Plus, she’s taken at least ten years off her ass. 

Reflections on being bootylicious:  Sometimes I stand looking at my reflection in the mirror and with both hands I lift my butt cheeks up about two inches so the entire thing looks as firm and round as J-Lo’s derriere.  Then I tell Spike, “This is how my ass used to look.”  His reply?  “Your ass never looked like that.” 

What to wear for the Oscars:  the Rejuvenique Avatar Edition . . .

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Can you drink while wearing the Rejuvenique?  Survey says:  yes.   

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On Olivia:  Liv wore her Rejuvenique out to lunch with friends the other day and her husband has been seen wearing it on business trips:

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On Sheila:  Sheila enjoys stalking fellow shoppers at the local market.  She might follow you if she thinks you’re cute or interesting or she’s craving what you’ve got in your cart.  Whatever the reason, she’s been known to trail unsuspecting shoppers.  The other day she spotted a young mom shopping with her six-year-old son.  Awwwww, the sight tugged at Sheila’s heart strings.  So, she started following mama and baby bear because it reminded her of when her teenagers were little boys and so in love with their mama.  Sheila loved hearing the little boy say things like, “Oh, let’s buy this, Mama.  I love you, Mama.  You’re the prettiest mama ever.”  It made Sheila begin to weep near the frozen foods.  And when they neared the produce section, Sheila tapped the mama on her shoulder and wailed, “Excuse me, but in a few years your little boy is going to grow up, get a girlfriend, and you’ll never hear from him again.”  Mama called store security and had Sheila hauled out for naughty grocery store behavior. 

On Stillpoint Sherrie:  Stillpoint’s husband is driving her crazy.  He works like a dog, but then comes home and lies on the couch.  And bosses everyone around.  She calls it ‘management by couch’ and she’s getting really sick of it.

On Mar-jay:  Mar-jay loves to take long walks in the winter.  Let’s be honest—it’s not easy to walk in sub-zero temperatures and look cute at the same time.  Mar-jay’s kids have told her for years that she looks like a homeless person when she’s outside getting a little exercise.  The other day Mar-jay was out walking and a car pulled over to ask if she needed help, a ride somewhere, or a place to live.  Don’t tell Mar-jay’s kids, but they may have a point.

Today I leave you with this Valentine thought:

Do not be sorry if the only Valentine you receive is the one you’re reading right now from Joyce.  It means you’re a nice girl.   xoxo

P.S.  Next week—-scotch tape for the wrinkles.  Stay tuned.

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