10 March 1876 — The first successful telephone transmission of clear speech was when Alexander Graham Bell spoke into his device saying, “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.”
And the rest is history. It wasn’t an exciting conversation, but who am I to criticize? What would Joyce do without the phone? I’m pleased to announce that I logged some quality phone time the other day. I love the phone. Love. It. Not everyone is good at spending excessive time on the phone. It actually requires a very special set of skills.
First of all, you have to be a semi-interesting person. Let’s be honest—lots of people aren’t very interesting. Vicky gave me this magnet and its message is straight from the mouth of God . . .
Secondly, in order to be skilled on the phone it’s important to have an opinion about anything and everything. Even boring stuff. And you need to be able to share your opinions freely. Joyce has no problem doing this. In fact, she excels at it. Third, it’s good to have a sharp mind that can move from topic to topic in a random and confusing way. Fourth, it’s a good idea to read People magazine because celebrity gossip has great appeal. A knowledge of sports and teams can help, too. Clearly your ears must be furball free. And lastly, it helps if you like people. Not everyone fits the bill. I find that when I’m interviewing to see if someone will make a good phone buddy, there are many, many people I have to turn down.
The other day I was chatting it up with Kim Marie. In today’s world of e-mail, it can take time to identify a potential telephone soul mate. After we’d logged about an hour or so I commented, “I’m getting the feeling that you like to talk on the phone?” “Oh yes,” she replied without hesitation, “I’m crazy about it.” This was music to my ears.
KM confessed to purchasing a Madonna-like headset so that her phone time could be enjoyable, yet productive . . .
Here is KM’s priceless ceremony: she puts on her velour sweat suit, plugs her phone into the Madonna headset and puts the cordless phone in her sweat suit pocket. This is a beautiful thing. KM can take care of all of the horrible chores of life (hunting for hairballs, ironing, toilets, unloading the damn dishwasher, killing spiders) while chatting it up using her hands-free headset. After I pondered all of this, I think I fell in love with her a little bit more. She endeared herself to me further when she confessed at 2 p.m. that she was still in her velour sweat suit. A friend after my own heart. A true and total Joyce.
KM found her headset at RadioShack . . .
Multi-tasking is now a breeze! Can I guess what’s on your Joyceland wish list? Call 1-800-843-7422 for details. I’m heading out right now to buy one for moi!
When you meet someone who owns extra equipment in order to log time on the telephone, you have met someone special indeed. These types of people clearly don’t grow on trees. Palm trees surrounded by flamingos and wildly screaming monkeys, maybe, but not ordinary trees. Sometimes you have to search long and hard to find fellow phonephiles. E-mail may be sweet, but a true phone buddy is priceless.