Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | March 24, 2010

Who needs health care reform when you have key parties and dollar bill lunches?

Have you hosted your own car key party yet?  Yes, Mr. Acura RDX and his really long key have inspired the latest Ladies’ Night Out craze that is sweeping the nation.  Even Hoda and Kathie Lee have compared car key lengths.  In this shot Hoda is making fun of Kathie Lee’s little key . . .

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And in this pic Lady GaGa is showing Kathie Lee and Hoda how long their car keys should be:

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Lady GaGa looks like she knows a lot about this type of thing.  And after Obama signed health care reform into law, he and Nancy Pelosi–my birthday buddy, compared car key lengths, too.  Nancy’s is longer.  Does that surprise you? 

After Stella saw the unbelievable length of my RDX’s key, she challenged me to a key off.  I tried to discourage it by saying that I really didn’t want to get into a competition over this sort of thing.  But she insisted.  And she added, “The longer the key, all the more glee.”  Anyway, she flashed me the key to her ride, Mr. BMW.  Oh, Mr. BMW thinks he’s plenty hot, that’s for sure.  He’s big and black and sporty.  But when we compared keys, this is how they measured up:


Mr. Beamer is on the left, Mr. RDX is on the right.  Beamer=zero.  RDX=whoo hoo.  Stella is ready to run out and RDX herself.  Try the key off at your next girlfriend get together.  Prizes and bragging rights go to the girl with the longest key. 

Yesterday the Walking Club helped me celebrate my birthday week with a dollar bill lunch.  You might remember from Olivia’s birthday in February that this is how it works:  you pay for your own lunch but bring a container to hold dollar bills.  Everyone who is celebrating with you contributes one dollar to your dollar bill kitty.  Boy, did I rake it in.  I think I’ll be able to buy myself at least three Starbuck’s iced venti half decaf half regular half soy half skim two pump no ice no whip mochas with the money I made.  Did you get all that?  If not, take notes next time.  Sheila tied a pink tulle ribbon around her dollar bill contribution and KC made an origami bow tie out of hers . . .  

I’m thinking this has started a new dollar bill trend for the dollar bill birthday lunch.  You can’t just throw a regular old dollar bill into the kitty anymore–it has to be fancy, naughty, or creative.  Joyce would moan over that type of pressure.  She likes her dollar bills plain, thank you very much. 

Do you attach membership cards to your keychain? 

I have three hanging from mine.  Joyce has four.  Well, at the dollar bill lunch KC told us that lots of membership cards hanging on a keychain is tacky with a capital T.  She says it’s vulgar, unstylish, and unbecoming.  And she was bossy about it.  She even took one of my membership cards from my keychain and threw it across the room.  But KC is the type who wears short shorts when the rest of us wear pants, so I ask you:  is her opinion trustworthy?



  1. Which is tackier, my 15 tags on my key ring that I actually use, or my FFIL who has 100 keys, of which only two, maybe three are needed? (I am certain he does not know what locks the other 97 keys fit. I’d love to challenge him, but he and I have never had a conversation in the 15 years I’ve known him. Now that we’re not “family” anymore, it hardly seems appropriate to try to push his buttons anymore. ;p)

  2. Nellie Joyce—I’m going with the FFIL! But do tell–how long is your key?

  3. […] Who needs health care reform when you have key parties and dollar bill lunches? « Escape to Jo… […]

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