There’s nothing like a bus ride to turn a dull day into something fun. When Joyce was in her formative years, her mama made her attend college at the UW-Milwaukee because it was just a quick bus ride from Kiel, Wisconsin. Joyce preferred riding the bus for the occasional obligatory trip home over making the drive with Kiel native, Freis Von Kiel. The bus offered Joyce the opportunity to do a meet and greet, grow her popularity, dance in the aisles, and go potty in the back, if necessary. A bathroom on board is such a travel bonus, isn’t it? Occasionally, however, instead of going Greyhound, Joyce was required to hitch a ride on Freis Von Kiel’s truck. Freis was an egg distributor who drove his truck from Kiel to Milwaukee and back . . .
What sounds more fun to you: excitement on the Greyhound or friending Freis?
The Greyhound offered travel glamour and stretch breaks; Freis offered tips for scrambling and hard boiling. His truck always carried extra eggs around the Easter holiday.
I enjoyed a very bad experience on a Megabus a year ago when it broke down in Black River Falls at about 4:30 in the afternoon. Let me just say that the Megabus offered none of the luxuries one might find on a Greyhound. None. Oh dear God, it was a long night. Help finally arrived at about midnight and we eventually reached Milwaukee at 4:30 a.m. Bulldog had a bad school bus experience on his second day of kindergarten. Remind me to tell you that tale another day.
I had the good fortune of being invited on two sassy bus trips during March. The month began and I didn’t think there would be any bus fun, but the desperation of winter must have made people think creatively. One trip was planned by Spike and the other was planned by CathyJoyce. Both are supremely organized human beings. Let us pause momentarily and offer them a JOYCIE (which is much like an Oscar) for their organizational talents. CathyJoyce even has a Vera Bradley clipboard for taking notes and attendance. That’s an important thing to do when you’re on a party bus–somebody’s got to take attendance or you’ll probably leave a friend behind. And a good attendance taker doesn’t allow strays or bus crashers to hop on board either. A stray can be fun, but you never know.
Here’s what happens on these adult bus rides: dancing, beverage consumption, Fergie imitations, laughing, big story telling, general shenanigans. And the riders feel famous and celebrity like when getting on and off the bus. It’s sort of like when you were a kid and you had a Ding Dong in your lunch and the kid next to you had a Fig Newton. When you’re an adult on a party bus, you feel like a Ding Dong next to all the boring Fig Newton’s on the road.
So, take it from Joyce and organize yourself a bus party, okay? And make a flashy sign for the outside of the bus that says . . . something like . . . ‘We’re escaping to Joyceland!’ It might just be the trip of your life . . . .