Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | April 14, 2010

Yo! Kitty Kelley!

April 12 was National D.E.A.R. Day or Drop Everything and Read Day.  So did you drop everything?  Joyce is a big fan of dropping everything and anything.  And reading.  And not only on April 12. 

What fun things did I find to read while I was dropping everything?  Did I turn to Kitty Kelley’s new book revealing secret Oprah scoops?  Or did I check out Kathie Lee Gifford’s new children’s story about party animals complete with a matching CD?  What about Bulldog’s intriguing vacation journal?  Truth be told, I went with Bulldog.  I hear Kitty Kelley, the poison pen biographer, is interested in interviewing friends and family about Bulldog’s life, thoughts, loves, and dreams.  He’s an interesting character, that’s for sure.  Let’s examine his diary more closely in order to better understand just who we’re dealing with:

Bulldog opens his journal with a picture of himself saying, “Yo!”  Yo?  This is a word typically used every five seconds by the likes of rappers and Rocky Balboa . . .

 

 . . . and Bulldog, apparently.  Who knew he had such a secret side?

Let’s further examine Bulldog’s attitude, shall we?  It seems you can take the kid out of Guatemala AND it’s very easy to take Guatemala out of the kid.  Take note of this riveting revelation:

Yes, it is true that I sat in the way, way, way back of the airplane while Bulldog and Spike sipped champagne and toasted one another on their vacation plans.  Bulldog in first class?  That kid would have lasted about three hours in Guatemala.  Maybe not even that long. 

Remember I said that Bulldog was fixated on cheeseburgers and mini golf? 

Meals and mini golf are mentioned more in his diary than his mama.  It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to have an opinion about that one.  

And here’s the truth about Bulldog being an impossibly impatient morning person:

Every day he wakes at the crack o’ dawn and wants to get crackin’.  I loathe morning people.  Morning people are a menace to society.

Here are some of his bocce ball friends:

Is it just me or are they a motley looking crew? 

As you can see, there is plenty of material on Bulldog for Kitty Kelley to discover and analyze.  So, to heck with Oprah . . .

View Image

Kitty Kelley’s next assignment is titled Bulldog: Yo and More!

 

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Responses

  1. You are hilarious – thanks for making me laugh out loud every morning when I get these things – Second class seating pooh-pooh! You are first class on my plane sista’

  2. Is there anything like a day of laying around reading?! Oh yes, a day with Lori…and then laying around reading!


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