Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | April 21, 2010

Letters beat out numbers every time

Hey, it’s time to celebrate because Joyceland has had over 12,000 visitors!  Slim Jims for everyone!  I’ll be honest and say that I don’t look at the statistics for Joyceland very often because I’m not mathy AND the whole point of JL is not to take life too seriously

Typically, I avoid numbers at all costs.  I married an accountant and that is where my relationship with numbers ends.  There’s nothing worse than a number to depress the hell out of you.  Think about it for a minute—-if it weren’t for numbers, life would be a total peach.  Numbers are the only problem in the entire world.  Why was Kate Gosselin dancing with the stars for so many weeks?  Numbers!

Good lord—that woman was the worst dancer I’ve ever seen, but she had viewer numbers.  You open your checkbook and why do you feel despondent?  Numbers.  You’re out to dinner looking extremely attractive while enjoying fabulous food, kisses, intoxicating drinks . . . and then the bill comes filled with numbers.  Your boss tells you about your raise.  No, the numbers in your salary increase can’t come close to your talent or beauty. 

It’s because of examples like these that I’ve never been very fond of numbers.  You simply can’t trust them.  No, it’s letters I’m interested in.  Letters and fun.  We’re all about the fun of it in JL, aren’t we?  Joyce is never going to tell you that you have to wear clean underwear, meet your goals, clean your desk, pull those weeds, suck up to your boss, pay your bills, or clip coupons.  Joyce is fine with you becoming a ditch digger—-she just wants you to be the best damn ditch digger you can be.  And Joyce will always love you, just as you are. 

Well, despite my disdain for numbers, every few months I force myself to take a peak behind the blog scenes to see if there are still three people, two dogs, and a monkey who visit JL on a regular basis.  By the way, the monkey is our most devoted follower . . .

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Anyway, when Spike helped me perform the latest Joyceland audit, we were surprised to see that there have been 12,011 visitors since JL began last August.  The monkey has been telling his friends . . .

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. . . and those monkeys know how to spread the JL word.  So, YAY for all your visits.  And thank you from the bottom of my heart for stopping by JL all these months.

But, let’s address a little Joyceland opportunity for you, shall we?  An opportunity for your own personal publicity and fame.  Did I mention fame?  Yes, I said fame.  Sure, so far we’ve had 12,011 visits, but we’ve only had 280 comments.  This is a grave situation, my JL friends.  We all want to hear about your crazy life and Joyceland ways via your comments.  Thank God when I recently confessed that I love Ding Dongs I learned through your comments that:

  • Frenchie used to steal Ding Dong’s from Jukie’s pantry because her mom wouldn’t buy them for her 
  • LauryJoyce adores Dolly Madison blueberry and cherry pies—lard and all–especially the lard
  • BetteJoyce feels affection for Zingers–the creme filled lunch cakes!

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Hearing about your Joyceness makes the rest of us feel almost semi-normal and less alone.  I may be a few cards shy of a full deck, but so are you.  So, let’s start hearing more from you.  Please stick a Post-It to your computer which says, “Joyce wants to hear from me!”  And then click on ‘leave a comment’ every time you visit and tell us something.  We’ll take anything.  Don’t be shy.  So how ’bout it?  Starting today can Joyce count on you?   



  1. Amen to the numbers/letters debate. Numbers have never been my friend. And to coin a phrase, a day without JL, is like a day without sunshine .
    Letters will come in so handy when Kitty Kelly and I write our expose on The Pride Of Kiel.

  2. As the self-proclaimed Queen of the Helper Monkeys, I’m glad to hear the indies (Helper Monkeys eschew minion-status, we’re independent contractors) have been doing their job.

    And, as bad as she was (and she was!) I still have to say Buzz was worse than Kate. I was glad she got to stay another week after finally showing some improvement last week but since she didn’t really capitalize on that momentum this week it was, indeed, time for her to go. Now I just hope Niecy gets it together or she’s bound to be next!

  3. Agreed, numbers are the pits. Just weighed myself – need I say more? Also agreed, buh-bye Kate Gosselin. Not only was she a horrible dancer but had no personality to make up for lack of dance skills. Gosh, didn’t mean to come across as a little hostile this am. Ya’ll have a number free day!

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