Posted by: Lori Schmidt Lutze | April 28, 2010

Confessions of a Fridge-a-Phobe

My self-esteem has risen dramatically since several of you came out of the fridgelicious closet and confessed that you, too, keep your fridge stash to a minimum.  Interestingly, VickiJoyce remains committed to the super loaded fridge and that’s why Bulldog adores her and Spike wants to get jiggy with her.  A fully stocked fridge is like a dream come true for Winnie the Pooh types who like to open the door, gaze upon their food, and dream up delicious ways to use it all up. 

However, many interesting people find the bare naked refrigerator to be quite compelling and seductive.  Scraps cleverly admits that her fridge, which is filled with condiments and drink mixers, wants to live in a Sex and the City apartment.  Hello Mr. Big!  I think Big was totally into the bare fridge and his girlfriend Carrie Bradshaw certainly didn’t even come close to cooking one meal for all of six seasons.  My kind of girl, that Carrie. 

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Strangy suggests using the Euro fridge . . .

. . . which is right up my alley.  It’s slim, short, and doesn’t attract too much attention.

Hermey is a huge fan of the smorgasbord dinner which is an eclectic and semi-random collection of carrots, olives, pickles, summer sausage, maybe a few pieces of rolled up turkey/cold cuts, string cheese, and a few crackers from the pantry.  Your fridge never needs to stay full because you can throw anything into the smorgasbord dinner.  Chewey is fond of  the picnic dinner which usually consists of chicken wings from the deli, bakery bread, carrot sticks, pickles, chips…and whatever else is available in the pantry.  Please note that carrots and pickles can be used in both the smorgasbord and picnic dinner.

I think my problems with the fridge go way, way back.  As a young girl, Joyce never bought me one of these . . .

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Simply put, I was semi-deprived.  As a result, I never received proper instruction on what to do with the happy trio above (fridge, oven, sink).  And Nancy Drew, my beloved role model, never once had to look inside her refrigerator because she had a full-time housekeeper.

Jukey, a naked fridge aficionado, is in need of a good recipe using seven different kinds of mustard, Port wine, two withered lemons and three eggs of indeterminate age.  Her recipe request signifies our first foray into a Joyceland Bare Fridge Bake-off………….please submit your recipes by midnight on Friday.  The winner will win . . . a lunch date with Joyce, of course. 



  1. I don’t know…..I had a pretty sweet kitchen set delivered from Santa when I was three but alas, I too, have bare fridge syndrome.

    My daughter got a nice set and she loves to cook. My mom loves to cook, maybe it skipped a generation?

    And isn’t there a website where you type in your ingredients and it tells you what you can make? Not that I would, but I suppose it’s possible. HA.

    Bare Fridge Forever!

  2. Use 1 of the eggs, the lemons and the mustards to make a hollandaise sauce, poach the other 2 eggs in the port, pick up some english muffins and canadian bacon from the store and you’ve got a very colorful eggs benedict 🙂

  3. Naked fridge is especially exciting when preparing for a move. Who knew that pickles and peppermint schnapps makes a lovely meal?

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