My Love Affair with African Dwarf Frogs

Thank God for dishwashers, huh?  Load ’em up and let ’em run.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Joyce is on an anti-hosting binge.  She has attended dinner parties four out of the last five nights.  The Bobster says she just loves to run her happy ass off.  It’s true, too.  That girl can party hop.   

Lately on my walks I’ve been greeted by pee instead of poo.  Yes, I’m finding yellow stained snow all over the place.  Is this a message from the Universe?  Should I be purchasing a nice citrine bauble for myself? 

I think the pee stained snow is telling me to get to a jewelry store and go citrine.  I try to pay attention to gentle nudges like this from nature. 

The sun came out yesterday and so I set up a lawn chair near the big window in my foyer, rubbed on the Coppertone, got out my beach towel, grabbed the African dwarf frogs, and basked in the light.  Bulldog had been given some African dwarf frogs by Granny and Papa for his birthday.  The frogs take after me and enjoy the sunshine . . . 

 

. . . and there I sat sunbathing with Warren and Beatty in my foyer.  Yes, it’s come to that.

Joyce first spotted the inch long frogs at a doctor’s office and thought they were cute.  The doctor said he’d bought them at a Hallmark store, but The Bobster didn’t believe it.  Bobster thought for sure the doctor said Wal-Mart.  And he called every Wal-Mart in town, “Hello, do you carry African dwarf frogs?”  The Wal-Mart people didn’t know what in the hell The Bobster was talking about.  They probably hung up the phone and said, “You wanna hear what some nut was looking for?”   

Here is my favorite part about the ADFs:  they are very low maintenance pets.  They’re aquatic and are native to the Congo.  This makes them wild.  Owning them makes you wild.  You can buy the entire frog kit for $35 at Hallmark.  Here’s what you get for your money:  a five by five-inch tank, one year’s supply of food, and a turkey baster.  You change their water four times a year by using the baster to suck up the old water.  It’s important to use a Sharpie to label the baster so that you don’t use the frog baster on your turkey at Thanksgiving. 

The frogs first became popular in the sixties along with the funky pet rock.  They are sold as a pair because like me, Bulldog, and Joyce, they are extremely social.  Males are known to sing or hum when mating or excited.  Warren and Beatty are both males so we don’t have to worry about any funny business between the two of them.  Unless, of course, they roll that way.  I’ll keep you posted.

Here is the hysterical part:  they float in one spot with their legs and arms outstretched, while resting on one foot.  This is called their ‘Zen position.’  Sometimes they just float motionless and spread eagle while meditating . . . 

     

These are some crazy pets.  Do you think you’ve got frogs in your future?  Might you, too, enjoy a little sunbathing with a couple of frogs?  Think about it and get back to me.  We could get our frogs together for a little fun . . .